It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
