he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
