Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
