It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
