Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
