Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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