dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I bet he comes in French.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
