So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
