I got chris browned last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
