Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize