what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
