I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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