ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
