I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
handjob tips. give me some.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
