I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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