Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
