remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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