This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
