saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
