I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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