It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
