so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
