Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
