yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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