we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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