she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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