I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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