Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
