quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
