Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
