is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
