I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
