Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
