Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
