Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Bring me that man meat
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize