Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
