i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize