i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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