Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
