thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
