he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is not my ceiling
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
