have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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