You just made me feel so damn special
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
