you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
