He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
