just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
