I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
