Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I AM VODKA MAN
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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