It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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