I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
