I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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