i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
