she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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