dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
