he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
