The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
