I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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