Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
