I CAN MOONWALK!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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