we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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